The Tuesday Nite "Fites"

I'm even sorrier this time than last.

2006-02-22T06:16:33Z

Here, at long last, is the update for weeks LIV - LXI. Title in caps, winners in bold. Where the votes on two fites in the same week add up to different totals the greater one has been decided by a tie-breaker.

Week LIV
COLOR vs. TORTURE (8-6)
Fundraising vs. Catchphrase (5-9)
Badass vs. Cool (6-8)
Olives vs. The Concept Of Olives (9-5)

Week LV (best of semester IV)
MASS vs. ACCELERATION (5-9)
THOUGHT vs. THE BLUES (9-5)
ADULTERY vs. THE GIRL NEXT DOOR (5-9)
NAKED vs. LOST (5-9)
WAYS vs. CURVES (9-5)

Week LVI
LAW vs. VIRTUE (7-16)
Karate vs. Tetris (10-13)
Wheels vs. Thighs (8-15)
Prayer vs. Fame (14-9)

Week LVII
CHARISMA vs. CONSTITUTION (6-7)
Prohibition vs. Screen Time (8-4)
Scandal vs. Reserve (4-8)
The God Of War vs. War Hero (4-8)

Week LVIII
TITLE vs. FIGHT (5-14)
Asylum vs. Grizzly Bears (10-4)
Paper vs. Subtlety (7-12)
Architecture vs. Analysis (11-8)

Week LIX
TWIST vs. EDGE (4-8)
Gypsies vs. Tunnels (6-7)
Ruckus vs. Chambers (5-7)
Manipulation vs. Reputation (6-7)

Week LX
HEART vs. LEGITIMACY (6-4)
Whisky vs. Arrows (3-7)
Make Up vs. Knock Up (2-8)
Shame vs. Playfulness (4-6)

Week LXI
BUGS vs. PLANETS (4-8)
Dust vs. Fruit (4-8)
The President vs. The Fool (5-7)
Patience vs. Meddling (7-6)

jwv @ 2005-11-30T18:18:00

2005-11-30T23:24:29Z

The Tuesday Nite "Fite"s, Wk. LIII
CURRENT vs. MASS (8-7)
Shelf vs. Stealth (5-10)
Hustle vs. Bustle (9-6)
Ya Win Some, Ya Lose Some vs. Failure Is Not An Option (8-7)

General Fite Theory

2005-11-21T08:18:43Z

This will be not only a ramble, but a very early morning ramble. Hopefully the great amounts of coffee I have consumed to further my Augustine-reading ability will increase my mental acuity and clarity. The inspiration for this rant came to me through my Sophomore Language class with the incomparable Mr. Nambiar. In our discussions of Oedipus Rex Mr. Nambiar tried to find a non-Freudian and yet non-literal interpretation of the text. In order to further this end he had us attempt a classification of all linguistic phenomena. This eventually led to the formation of many sets of opposites into which such phenomena might fall. This Pythagorean task reminded me of the distinct divisions which make up the bulk of Fite Theory. (I also had reason to bring up the Prior vs. Superior in discussion of the One in Plotinus, which led to a fruitful and though-provoking discussion.) So here we go:
The distinctions which have been set up so far in Fite Theory seem to fall into two categories, those with stated opposites and those without. The prime example of those with Fite-like opposition is Prior/Superior, and the prime example of a simple distinction is Pointless Romanticism. Firstly I would like to suggest that there are natural opposites to even these simple distinctions, the opposite of Pointless Romantic being perhaps Soulless Pragmatic, and the opposite of Candy-Shopper being something like a Third Person Fiter, someone who divorces himself completely from his own preference. As to the negativity of these opposites, and the possible Aristotelian mean I will leave that to further consideration and comment.
Secondly, I would like to look closely at the already opposed distinctions and propose a few more. The obvious place to start is with the Prior and the Superior, since that is the opposition which turns up most often in the ol' Nelson Room. I think that this opposition is also the one which is the most misquoted seeing as it has a built in value judgment in the word "superior." The purpose of the Tuesday Nite Fites is to select the superior concept, so obviously if this is an opposition in a straight literal sense then nobody who believes in it should ever vote for what is prior. In my eyes at least the Prior/Superior conflict is more one of possibility. Certainly it is possible for the Prior concept to be the Superior as well,or not as the case may be. The opposition exists in the possible division rather than in the necessary division. If you espouse the recent statement concerning Friction by Erikk, ("Too subtle to be serious?"), then you would believe that whatever is so subtle could not be the superior concept, but it would also be possible to see subtlety as conceptual power and so vote for that which is the most subtle. The opposition can and does exist, but it is one for personal preference and thought.
Perhaps still within the structure of P/S is the distinction that can be made between Nature and Art. Many Fites come down to something which is naturally occurring and uncontrollable (e.g. friction, gravity, acceleration, etc.), and something created and controllable (e.g. furniture, words, politics, etc.). Again there must be a personal preference in this, but I would propose that the conceptual power is greater in those things which we have a more complete understanding of, and which we have made using the conceptual organs of our brains. This comes down to the Geanikkis Friction Postulate, so it could easily be argued against with an argument for the power of subtlety.
I have just come down off of my caffeine buzz, and this is going on fairly long, so I'll cut it off here and post more of it later. Also, if you have any Fite Theory of your own please post it, so the issue can be addressed more fully with the hope that it will inform the voting process and make the Fites more enjoyable. Please add P/S, N/A, and GFP to your Fite vocab. That is all. I sleep now.

Schuyler

Once again, here it is.

2005-11-20T21:13:58Z

Schuyler Sturm here.
Alright. I am a slacker and I will be the first person to admit it. I was the last person to say it, but nobody else could really admit that it was true. Therefore I am the first. This will not be a commentary of any sort, but rather just a review of the past couple of weeks and a posting of the results. I should get back into doing commentary in the not too distant future, in concordance with the promised publicity blitz. That will be after Thanksgiving. The Time That I Have has not been aligning with the Work I Want To Do, especially with the girlfirend and various other issues. Regardless, I am now resolved to effect a complete resurrection of TNF.

Wk. XLVIII
XERXES vs. CAESAR (8-7)
On TheTable vs. Wide Open (10-5)
Naked vs. Chains (8-7)
Recollection vs. Conversion (6-9)

Wk. XLIX
RACISM vs. LOST (7-8)
Overkill vs. Underbelly (6-9)
Breast Milk vs. Riot (9-6)
Exile vs Gag Order (11-4)

Wk. L
CHERNOBYL vs. ST. PETER (8-13)
Cell Phone vs. Switchblade (10-11)
The Skinny vs. On The Sly (11-10)
Bread vs. Skeleton (8-13)

Wk. LI
MEDICINE vs. ACCELERATION (12-7)
Balls vs. Words (7-12)
Cadillac vs. Mayhem (4-15)
Risk vs. Diplomacy (12-7)

Wk. LII
WAYS vs. CURVES (12-12)*
The Good Shave vs. A Parking Ticket (19-5)
Fistfight vs. Make-out Party (13-11)
Cages vs. Boots (11-13)
*Due to online voting this fite became unresolved after voting closed. When a tiebreaker takes place it will be posted.

Many thanks to April for keeping online voting online. No Fites this week on account of Thanksgiving, but the Tuesday after Thanksgiving we will be in the Nelson Room in BBC at 9:15. Be there.

Irreconcilable Discord; Absentee Balloting Suspended Indefinitely

2005-10-19T00:23:41Z

I will keep this short and bitter, since last time it was so long and touching.

The same problems cited in the famed Middlemarch-themed goodbye letter this past January have arisen anew. In getting kicked out of the Nelson Room, and in general, with 6/7ths of the War Room Council Contingency being seniors, the impetus to continue the Tuesday Nite "Fites" has waned.

To quote the TNF charter:

Should there be irreconcilable discord in the Council, the archon will impeach all Council members (including himself, if necessary) and appoint a new Council. (II.A.3.)

Having arrived at an impasse in the discussion of TNF's immediate future, tonite's War Room came down to a take it or leave it ultimatum: either stay and script this evening's Fites, or go. Mr. Geannikis, Mr. Steiner, Mr. Kronberg, and Mr. Quinn thereby resigned their archonships, and left the interim War Room Council with Mr. Sturm, Mr. Jones, and Mr. Vecchiolla. Because Mr. Sturm is The Future, he takes Mr. Geannikis's vacated position of Head Archon, and has pledged to begin the process of forming a new War Room Council, conducting a publicity assault, and beginning TNF anew.

Because the club is in his computerless hands, absentee voting is suspended indefinitely. TNF Wk XLVIII is still on, as far as I know, in McDowell 12. I apologize to all enthusiastic absentee voters, don't lose hope, check this journal and the away message of the SN TuesdayNiteFites for any news.

Next time you read this journal it will be news from a newly structured club, with a new War Room, with a new life.

Erikk M. Geannikis

Burn motherfucker; TNF XLVII

2005-10-12T17:52:05Z

Since we have been banished to the depths of McDowell, many people seem to have forgotten that The "Fites" exist, and demand your attention. Just when I thought voting totals couldn't get any worse, they did. Now, I'm not really complaining, just observing. Would the totals bounce back if we were back in Barr-Buchanan? But how does that account for the lowest absentee total ever (6)? That's okay. These four bouts were heavy as ever, as the War Room Council "slipped it in the 2-Hole" and delivered a "thick card." Without ado, here's take 47, Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLVII

MAGNETS vs. DEATH (11-15)
Medieval Times vs. Shenanigans (8-18)
Arson vs. Adultery (11-15)
History vs. Revolution (10-16)

Notables: J-Cop 2-2; Dalton 2-2; Margot 3-1; Clax 2-2; Abrille 3-1; Small Nick 1-3; Vec 3-1; Max 3-1; G-Hink 3-1; Bea 2-2; Toph 0-4; Throop 2-2; Erikk 2-2; Julia 1-3; Schuy 0-4; Kayla 3-1; D Vidal 1-3; Alanna 3-1; Jeanette 2-2; Jesse Miksic (R) 2-2. Congratulations to Willy Walford, Ben Hoffman, Jones, Sven, O'Keefe, and Christian Mansfield for their trip to 4-0. 26, 20 on-site. (wh--?)

Commentary: The Seminar bout was both inspired and tainted by Karl Marx, whose conception of the true Communist Revolution as the end of history skewed seniors' thinking a bit. Revolutions seemed to be contained within history, and some even claimed that History was simply a collection of revolutions. But we also speak of revolutions as changing or making history. These common phrases, along with "history repeating" were discussed at good length, but this Fite more than any seemed to rely on how you choose to slice history: whether it be the product of historians, or the undeniable collective events of the past. Also, revolution carries extreme significance in astronomy, and really all mechanics. The Brian Jones "Fite" was delightfully supplemented by R. Kelly's music video "In The Closet: Ch.1-5." A true gem of filmmaking, dealing with the prevalence and character of adultery, also included a casual arson reference by the film's beretta-toting protagonist, making it the true Arson vs. Adultery video. Because R.Kelly gave us the hit "I Believe I Can Fly" from the movie Spacejam, Chris Bea was able to use Michael Jordan's character in said cartoon-real people combo as another emblem of this "Fite." It ran something like: Spacejam showed how Michael Jordan's affair with baseball was wrong, and, in his return to his true love of basketball, he burned the house down. The 2-Hole is sort of a battle of theme restaurants, with Shenanigans being the hypothetical restaurant "with all the shit on the walls" from Super Troopers. (TNF: Now with more pop culture!) We had a tough time putting our finger on what actual shenanigans might be, but I postulated that Medieval Times, the restaurant at least, was really just shenanigans anyway. Is this a reflection of how the real age must've been? Some said no, and that the abject poverty and constant violence of the real Medieval Times held some real conceptual power, though nothing really went on.

Ah, the Title. Little Nick Steiner is so cute that it's hard to say no to him, and that's really why we took his idea for bringing in the forever-avoided concept of Death to combat Magnets. But, as "Fites" usually go, it soon became apparent that Magnets were a true match. Because their nature is one of eternal yearning and striving for wholeness, they are really always active. Death, confined to organic material (since everything else seems to be relating a cessation of internal motion by analogy, e.g. my computer is dead), might not be as far-reaching as magnets, though it is certainly inevitable. It is difficult to lock up a prior vote on this, since, as HST had suggested, "everything ebbs and flows in accordance with the great magnet." And, really, aren't the things we look for in life the immortal ones?

Erikk

Linen is the cosmic fabric; TNF XLVI

2005-10-06T01:47:29Z

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLVI

SAUCE vs. SILENCE (19-22)
City vs. Sky (19-22)
Ping-Pong vs. Neglect (18-23)
Linen vs. Pins (25-16)

Notables: Nick Steiner 1-3; Chad (R) 3-1; Throop 0-4; Max Kronberg 2-2; S-Ball (R) 1-3; Clarke 1-3; Kast 2-2; Rehana 2-2; Ben Hoffman (R) 1-3; Brager 3-1; JP McI 2-2; Chase Mc (R) 1-3; Schuy 1-3; Toph 1-3; Erikk 2-2; Jones 2-2; Julia 3-1; Christine Gregory 3-1; Bridget 3-1; The Apartment 2-2; Jack-o 1-3; Hohman 3-1; Bradis' 3-1; Christian Mansfield 3-1; Kevin 3-1; Angelica 2-2; F.o.O.W. 3-1; Swifty 1-3; DerrickSushi 1-3. Congratulations to G-Hink, Fair Abrille, C Moore, Kayla, and Vec for their trip to 4-0. 41 voters, an unusually meager 29 on-site.

Commentary: Neg'z!

ATTENTION TNFers!

2005-09-27T07:36:20Z

Due to Schuyler Sturm's birthday, Othello's final rehearsal, unresolved room-change conflicts, and the David Lynch lecture in DC...

There will be no Tuesday Nite "Fites" this week.

Sorry for the inconvenience. Stay tuned for Wk XLVI on 10/4.

Erikk

Desperate Yearning; TNF XLV

2005-09-21T20:40:50Z

Hello, TNFers. This is Erikk Geannikis, one-half of the top-tier "Fite" leadership of '05-'06, along with one Mr. Schuyler Sturm. It's nice to be back on the commentary again. There was a bit of drama this Tuesday, prior to the traditional 9PM TNF commencement, discussed below in Issues. The War Room Council met sans BJ and Vec, and perhaps this led to the kind of whilly-nilly attitude, and a few TNF precedents. A discussion of the potential "Fite" Cold Turkey vs. Whole Hog led to this amazing 2-Hole. But, I'm getting ahead of myself; without further ado, here's the forty-fifth installment, Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLV

THOUGHT vs. FEELING (20-22)
Peaches vs. Peaches (23-19)
JFK vs. KFC (27-15)
The Girl Next Door vs. The Man Upstairs (27-15)

Notables: Toph 1-3; Neck 1-3; Margot 1-3; J Lowe 3-1; Misha 3-1; BQ 3-1; Dalton 3-1; Matt 2-2; Abrille 3-1; Gusky (R) 3-1; Julia 0-4; Kast 1-3; Schuy 1-3; Planet Stone 1-3; G-Hink 0-4; Gamin 3-1; JP McI 3-1; Brag 2-2; Rehana 2-2; Throop 1-3; Vec 2-2; BJ 2-2; Bea 3-1; Erikk 3-1; Anna Schall 3-1; Williams 2-2; Anna Ahern (R) 1-3; Thorp 3-1; Edel 3-1; Jack-o 1-3; Nicky G 2-2; Hohman 2-2; J-Boogs 1-3; Bridget 3-1; Letz 2-2. Congratulations to Clarke, Max, Weasel Boy, Sven, O'Keefe, and Christine Gregory for their trip to 4-0. And an extra-special, double-orgasmic congratulations go out to co-archon Nicky Steiner, for his first 4-0 in the long and storied 45-week history of TNF. :-* This is truly amazing, as he has been one of the only people to vote each week of TNF existence, not to mention his 35-week (and counting) stint on the War Room Council. 42 voters, 32 on-site. Weak as hell.

Commentary: The Hegel "Fite" continued to be all but entirely disassociated with GWF Hegel. A lot of people thought that the Man Upstairs had some of the negative connotations of "The Man," the nebulous force whom we all strive to fight. This is perhaps correct, but there was also a pretty prevalant argument for The Man Upstairs coming through in the clutch, given by none other than the heartily irreligious Aaron Brager. Now for me, and a few others, the Girl Next Door was the paradigm of the unattainable, constant temptation forever out of reach. While this is what won her my vote, many people voted for TGND precisely because she was not a seductress. Jackson Ferrell surprised us all though, when he discounted The Man Upstairs for soliciting an inaccurate portrayal of God, and went with the breast-endowed Girl Next Door. The Brian Jones "Fite" is the first non-Title bout to be in all caps, by virtue of it being an all-abbreviation "Fite," also a first. Let's face it: regardless of how much the man did, and I wonder if he truly "put a man on the moon," JFK was blown to shit. How much of his concept was preserved? Did he truly embody a charismatic American ideal? and if he did, what kind of weight does that lend his notion? KFC has the luxury of being a style, at least this is what I argued. Chicken, fried in a Kentucky way. What is this Kentucky way? To me it is something beyond a secret recipe, but rather a way of doing things; an order of being. My intrigue was heightened when Schuyler informed me that Colonel Sanders (of whom a postmodern drawing was on the chalkboard in McD12) left the KFC enterprise thinking that the product had gone down the tubes. There really must be something behind the KF in KFC, if that's the case, but nevertheless, the former president cleaned house. The 2-Hole is clearly a precedent, since we've never had an identity bout before. I don't think it's quite safe to say that this boiled down to Left vs. Right, since the Peaches clearly came into play. My rationale for L-Peaches was hard to put my finger on, but I kept thinking: If you're gonna vote for Peaches, which you clearly are, there's no reason not to do it now, on the Left. I also heard talk of a good argument in TNFChat, about the Peaches on the right-hand side being but a copy of the one on the left. This reinforces an idea that I've always had about TNF - that the left-hand side always has the cognitive advantage by virtue of appearing first. More to come on this topic.

Ah, the Title. This match-up was a true heavy-hitter, and that's what we wanted. I'm glad that the score was close, even closer than Peaches vs. Peaches. Considering this is truly the Fite at the heart of all that interests me in the world (maybe second only to Body vs. Mind), and since I wasn't privy to most of the argument on it last nite, I don't want to say too much here. But for me, Thought seems inextricably tied to language, and the whole rational process in general seems tied to it as well. Maybe as humans we are just prone to language (de Saussure has said so, gross summarization), but I don't think Thought can capture the prior vote no matter how you flap it. For me, Feeling seems unadulterated but still cognitive-- you need a working brain to have a feeling. Though sense perception starts at sense receptors, sense-certainty begins in consciousness. This raw quality is at the root of our conscious minds, and might be what so many modern neuroscientists want to simply discard as "phenomenology." But it's not bullshit for Hegel, and not for me.

Issues: Apparently the directress of the Graduate Institute, who has some bullshit bureaucratic reign over the Barr-Buchanan Center, became unhappy with TNF's disruption of a GI Greek Preceptorial that meets in The Nelson Room, our lifelong home. There were words exchanged, and, because I didn't know enough to discount the possibility that perhaps TNF people really did cause such a disturbance, The "Fites" are in McDowell 12 from now until further notice. I hope to talk to Ms Silver, the aforementioned directress, and see if we can compromise. No change on the absentee front. By the way, it is still me who is responsible for tabulating the absentees, so those of my buddies from Long Island and elsewhere needn't reintroduce yourselves.

I hope you enjoyed this rather thrilling TNF45, and the rather lengthy commentary. As Sturmy mentioned toward the end of his last post, it probably will only get shorter from here. Let's up the voting numbers! When the calender says Tuesday, remember that you have a battle to "Fite."

Rikk

Risen; TNF XLIV

2005-09-15T01:47:46Z

In an attempt to stall for time, instead of writing this, I have been reading some of the past updates and responses on the journal. As I looked at all of the posts the word that showed up time and time again was 'devotion.' In a way that newcomers like me cannot fully understand the TNF have been inspiring to many people of many sorts. So, I think, what is it about this 'war of concepts' which drives people to distraction pitting bears against telegram? Sound against jewels? Ninjas against pornography? It's been said before, but I'll say it again: there is something more than just those words. Perhaps it is the cultivation of connection between disparate things which is what the people enjoy, and perhaps it is the lack of that cultivation everywhere else that inspires devotion. Anyway, a few more points from an essay on Fite Theory which I have been writing will be forthcoming in future weeks. Title Fite is in caps, winners in bold, scores in parentheses.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk. XLIV
BREAKFAST vs. SHAME (17-31)
Ever vs. Very (32-16)
Furniture vs. Friction (9-39)
The Song In Your Head vs. The Hiccups (34-14)

Notables: Ms. Hennigan 3-1, Ms. Silverman 3-1, Clax 3-1, Throop 0-4, Nick 2-2, Dalton 3-1, Weasel Boy 3-1, Pat(r) 3-1, Neck 3-1, ? 3-1, Ara(r) 0-4, Jones 3-1, Dennis(r) 1-3, G-Hink 3-1, Erikk 2-2, Sturm 2-2, Dan(r) 2-2, Vech 2-2, Kast 3-1, Toph 3-1, Micah(r) 3-1, Saylor 3-1, Gamin 3-1, Williams 1-3, Anna S. 1-3, Rehana 3-1, Edel 2-2, Jack-O 3-1, Adam(PA) 3-1, Angelica 3-1, Jackie(PA) 3-1, Guitars 3-1, Lou-Cal 1-3, Letz 3-1, Hohman 2-2. Due to comments online no special congratulations go out to Mike Sullivan, Doak, Bea, April, Matt, Max, Brager, Julia, J.P., Nithaca, Calvithaca, Kevin, or Nicky G. for going 4-0.

Commentary: Sorry that this is late. This set of fites went surprisingly well and elicited a great deal of debate, albeit the concepts were primarily talked about individually rather than in relation to each other. The Seminar fite (which extremely clever people will recognize as one of the key arguments from Phenomenology of Spirit) ended up with The Song in Your Head a heavy favorite, with some examples of rationale being: a.) The Song in Your Head is based upon psychology rather than physiology, b.) The Song in Your Head is much more annoying and lasts longer, and c.) The Song in Your Head might rock. Rationale for favoring Hiccups was less forthcoming (usually consisting only of the hatred they inspire), but all those who voted for the concept were adamant in their decision, with not a candy-shopper among them.
The Brian Jones Fite was the really big discussion topic of the evening, focusing mainly on the idea of a world without friction. The conclusion: a world without friction may or may not be possible, but it sure is weird to think about. In response to one postulated scenario involving locomotion in this universe Ms. Bell summarized the entire fite as "...a world of comfort versus a world of infinite peril." Whether of not furniture represent a world of comfort, however, is unknown, due to the scanty amount of time given to the concept. Personally I think that furniture got a bad deal because of this, and did not reach its potential strength as a concept. In addition to the fiting proper, the Brian Jones had the distinction of being the birthplace of a new piece of Fite Theory, in the form of a comment by Mr. Geannikis. "Friction: too subtle to be serious?" This could be a great leap forward for the Superior in its neverending struggle against the Prior.
The Two-Hole. This week it was a veritable universe of abstraction with the battle of Ever against Very. According to different people these concepts were on the same side, were the same thing, or were violently opposed. Ultimately the immediate allure of Ever beat out the even slightly more abstract Very, especially (I believe) in the hearts of hopeless romantics. Pretty much every question having to do with this fite is still wide open and out on the table. Sitting on the table, wide open. What senses can the concepts, being words common in idiom, be taken in? Can these concepts be looked at with negation attached to them (i.e. ever a gentleman, the very man)? Is Ever strictly temporal? Strictly continuous? Simply incomprehensible? Does the star that shines the brightest die the fastest, and was that actually said by Philosophocles, or just by Toph? I think that the action of this fite is still going on...wide open...on the table...
At long last, the Title Fite, Breakfast versus Shame. How, you may ask, could breakfast stand a sandcastle's chance in New Orleans against such a powerful concept as shame? Thanks to Mr. Throop for the answer: pancakes. That is how breakfast stood a chance. Unfortunately that chance was not great enough to win this one for breakfast. Really, the shameless man versus the man who doesn't eat breakfast? The basis, according to Ms. Manners, of our society against an early morning meal? I bet it seems more obvious now that Ms. Manners said it. Some very good points were, however, made for breakfast, including the idea that this is not a meal exclusively for the morning, but is the first meal you eat after waking up, thereby making it necessary to your survival. Also... I'm sorry I can't argue any more for breakfast. I think that it would be an insult to the intellect of Ms. Manners. Once she has spoken, its pretty much over.
Well, that is the commentary. Next week's will be on time. Probably it will also not be nearly as long.

Schuyler

The Resurrection. Week XLIII.

2005-09-08T01:44:38Z

At long last the hopes and dreams of the sophistic segment of the St. John's polity have become reality. The Tuesday Nite "Fites" woke up from its long hibernation, rubbed its eyes, and (failing to see its own shadow) declared that the questioning minds and keen intellects of our community could not have another six months of mental winter. The War Room is stocked, the voters are eager, and the concepts are training hard; preparing for their day on the sands. We've hit the ground running, boys and girls. Title Fite in caps, winners in bold, scores in parentheses.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLIII
THE INTERNET vs. THE BLUES (21-37)
Potato vs. Moon Rocket (39-19)
Swan Song vs. Snooze (30-29) TB
Genius vs. Chance (25-33)

Notables: Mr. Wilford 2-2, Ms. Hennigan 2-2, Mr. Bea 1-3, Mr. Steiner 2-2, Patrick(R) 3-1, Cole(R) 1-3, Dalton(R) 2-2, Matt Butler 1-3, Max 2-2, Utter 2-2, Emma 2-2, Erica Stratton(R) 3-1, Neck(R) 2-2, Kast 1-3, Carter 3-1, Liz 3-1, Dobbyn 2-2, Erikk 3-1, Toph 2-2, Charlie 1-3, Drake 2-2, Throop 2-2, G-Hink 2-2, Rehana(R) 2-2, Rory 2-2, Zweibel 0-4, JP 0-4, Doak 1-3, Vekeeohla 3-1, Moira 3-1, Aaron 2-2, Elizabeth 3-1, Annie 3-1, Gamin 2-2, Sturm 3-1, Julia(R) 3-1, Saylor 3-1, Bradis' 2-2, Tom O'Keefe 3-1, Kevin(roommate) 2-2, Rory(roommate) 2-2, Joey 3-1, Angelica 1-3, Kevin 2-2, Ashley 3-1, J-Cop 3-1, Kevin Reagan 1-3, & Nicky G 2-2. Special congratulations to McIlvain, Shoshanna, Anna Johnson, Laurent, Fair Abrille, Anna Schall, Clax, & Jack-o, who all got 4-0.

Commentary: This is the history of the Tuesday Nite "Fites" as recorded by Schuyler Sturm, secretary and overseer of the Nelson Room Contingency. May the words I write here be passed down into posterity as a lesson for future generations. The Restoration matches have come and gone, and the general mood was one of determination and excitement. There wasn't a noticeable difference between this set of "fites" and those that I recall fondly from the glory days of yesteryear, when concepts fought which no ten concepts could defeat today. There were an appreciable number of new faces (although as it was remarked by a certain freshman in regards to the Internet and face to face conversation: "There are some ugly faces out there.", and as it was remarked by Brian Jones: "You laugh just like that weasel in 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit.'"), which gives me hope for the continuance of the club far into the future. The really contentious issues at the end of the night turned out, it seems, to have been the logistics of a zombie apocalypse and the influx of wine facilitated by Mr. Brager. Earlier in the evening the point was made by Mr. Kronberg that "The Internet is the actualization of the Republic of Letters." This was not a good point at all. It was, however, contentious. The major breakthroughs of the evening came, however, in the discussion of Swan Song vs. Snooze. Swan Song lost some ground due to the apparent obscurity of its meaning, until Mr. Geannikis suddenly remembered that when you snooze, that's right, you lose. As it turned out a tie-breaker was needed to decide the issue, but Hugh admirably refused to give into the allure of snoozing. Also of note: Mr. Brian "Zuckerkandl" Jones, while arguing for the 'spiritual music and soul vibrations' of the Blues, made the point that 'Odysseus himself was a Blues man.' Topher did not believe in that relativistic hippie bullshit. It's good to be back at this. Have a good week, and ready your minds for the next conceptual death match.

Schuyler

When it was good, baby, it was real good... TNF suspended indefinitely.

2005-01-12T08:54:24Z

I don't even know how to begin to write this document, let alone use it as a necessary forum to convey the grave news that has reached home. Even the uninvolved reader of this journal could deduce that something has been amiss recently among the TNF institution and its archons, so I don't think this announcement can possibly be construed as a total surprise in any case, but it certainly is shocking, most especially to me. But here goes, please try to understand.

George Eliot's Middlemarch, coupled with being home on Long Island for winter break, made me realize something. How are we to deal with lofty dreams? With unabashedly high aspirations? Is practicality a detriment to progress, or is it necessary to accomplish anything real? The social order in Middlemarch tears apart the dreams of its residents. Lydgate wants to begin his plan of overarching medical reform in the world with a set of small changes in Middlemarch. But this society, entrenched in custom and ceremony, removes the possibility of him ever doing so. This is a familiar story, especially at St. John's College. This place breeds us to have great dreams, high goals founded in the virtuous and idealistic concepts we read and think about all the time. But we are here to work, to extract an education from these texts and people, and participate in the process of self-shaping. We are encouraged to dream, but are simultaneously forced to let these dreams subside until.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," as Toph Stuart observed tonite in a completely dismal War Room, were started with Coincidence as a key player. I took a puzzling line from a lecture advertisement, wrote "Etymology vs. Prostitution" on the board, and my friends and I started talking. People started to vote, and three more of these matchups were added. The rest, as they say, is history. But once this thing really started to take shape, we saw what we were doing. We were creating a forum for discussion, above all else. We felt a little like artists, I think, bringing together already existing yet very disparate concepts and demanding reconciliation. More than that, TNF was a case study in logos, the argument. "Do what you do, but think it through" rang true inside the "Fites" and out, and we began to have some sort of understanding of how we should think and talk about these wacky ideas on the board. The entire universe seemed to be a collection of Tuesday Nite "Fites," concepts crashing into each other on display for our deliberation. Theoretically, it only took nine or ten weeks of TNFing to really understand that we had created something vital and necessary to our College's philosophy.

But then people got interested. TNF grew like any cult phenomenon does, rapidly yet secretly. Debate quickly got livelier as more Johnnies showed up to the Nelson Room. As a consequence of posting the results on LiveJournal, it was only eight weeks before Jeremy R. Swift requested a way for all to be involved, via the Internet. Absentee voting didn't take long to catch on, and soon put up numbers equal to (but never exceeding) those posted on-site. While never entirely well-received by Johnny faithfuls, absentee voting undeniably spread the popularity of TNF across America, and because of such public fervor, the campus. Hearing my friends back home and ex-Johnnies talk about the concepts at stake, and talk about TNF in general, really got me thinking that this thing could be huge. The war of concepts had extended beyond St. John's. Incredible dreams blossomed. With the new year came the club charter, room reservations, chat room, and published results, all of which gave TNF the officiality that sort of existed from the start in the founders' minds.

The popularity and publicity of the "Fites," coupled with the increased desire for continuous conceptual debate, led to a great deal of responsibility. The War Rooms became more intense, as we labored longer and harder over the perfect lineup card. Logging the votes of on-site Fiters became quite the task. To go out for a smoke meant pinning the job on someone else. The Absentee voting system, created by me, was entirely in my hands, as was midnite vote tabulation and updating the Journal. But I really felt the burden of obligation and responsibility when suddenly, the archons, who were my close friends who were present at the haphazard founding of TNF, suddenly weren't with me in the Nelson Room anymore. And this was understandable. The Junior year at St. John's is ridiculously difficult, and all of us archons are bogged down by the workload and numerous outside commitments. We all had things to do, work to be done, but I was willing to put it aside from 7:30 (the commencement of the War Room) to 1AM (about the time tabulation is done) every Tuesday. This was fine, because I care about TNF.

On-site voting numbers declined as the archons stopped coming, which also made sense because their friends were studying or hanging out with them somewhere else (sometimes even right next door). As the casual voters saw this lack of attendance from TNF's founders, they stopped coming. This is not to say that the quality of the debate has wholly declined. There are a small group of faithfuls who are always willing to discuss, and I admire their commitment.

Last semester, however, I watched myself turn into a very different student. I'd always had problems with time management and keeping myself awake, but I was so overwraught with commitments that I couldn't even keep a firm grasp on the very basics of my required work for classes. I accumulated a great deal of non-TNF responsibility over my first two years of college also; I was running the Chilla's Grilla on Saturdays, rehearsing and performing in a band, orchestra, and a cappella group, participating in two study groups, having the most arduous job on the Delegate Council, working as a Music Assistant, acting in a play, and trying to still have friends and time to myself, let alone sleep. It took me too long to realize that, at this the most rigorous college in the nation, I couldn't do everything I wanted to.

After much discussion with my friends and tutors, I began the process of scaling down my commitments to focus on being a good student again. Quitting the rock band that I had come to love was the first step, and the feeling was so painful and unfamiliar to me that I still haven't really come to grips with. Another one of the hardest nites was telling the boys in The Manner Corps that I wouldn't be able to sing with them until late next semester, and that the concert we'd been planning would have to be postponed until senior year. The Grilla, if ever re-sanctioned by the Dining Hall, will be given to someone else. All of these commitments are being loosened. And, what it came down to is: I needed the 5 and a half hours that TNF took up to study. Bottom line.

At the War Room tonite the archons and I discussed any and all possible ways to keep the "Fites" going, without me having to spend so much time on them. Eliminate vote-logging and the publishing of individual results, or even eliminate absentee balloting altogether. I still have no Tuesday Nite. Shorten the duration of the "Fites," maybe even to one hour. One hour for four bouts? Okay, maybe just have one "Fite" per week. But this, and really all permutations of TNF reform, led back to the same realization: it just wouldn't work. TNF is four Fites on the blackboard in BBC for three hours. That's the only way it should be done. And, at this point in time, I can't do it.

To quote myself, on the gloss to Wk XXIX, "What amazes me most about The Tuesday Nite "Fites" is the remarkable consistency with which they went on, week in and week out." I realize now, however, that the very consistency which seemed so amazing to me then was truly the driving force behind TNF's success. Anyone can debate bizarre concepts in a room for three hours, but not everyone can make a concrete institution out of said debate, and have a steady upkeep of all that comes with the forum we chose. I realize that without the consistency, the Tuesday Nite "Fites" are not all that amazing. And I need to do well in school. At the start of this school year I truly believed that I could do it all and be successful, but now I have come to see that my lofty dreams and high aspirations have been trampled out by the steel-toed boot of honest St. John's soceity.

While, in Middlemarch, the customs and ceremony which bog ambitious people down seem to be pretentious and silly, at St. John's they are themselves the necessary groundwork for ambition. To me, at least. Class is my number one priority now, and until I can get my life in order, the Tuesday Nite "Fites" are no more. They may not come back, but then again, they might. I extremely apologize to the Fiting public. Believe me, no one will miss this thing more than I will. I am especially sorry to a few people: Schuyler Sturm, who has done nothing but impress me since the day I met him, Jeremy Swift, who was the brainchild behind so much of what I call my own, and Jackson P. Ferrell, whose devotion and faith in all aspects of his life are the strongest of all virtues of human character.

When it was good, it was really good. This was said in the War Room tonite, and it made me feel like I was ending a relationship, which is not entirely true. The "Fites" still have potential to come back in some capacity and any time. The numerous people we've met through TNF will still be around and probably looking to talk about concepts. Naturally, I'd be interested in hearing any suggestions or comments to this very lengthy farewell. Thanks for reading this. Wow. I am really going to miss the "Fites." This is so sad, I am so sad.

Erikk

It was the best of times...; TNF XLII

2005-01-12T04:57:18Z

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLII: Best of Semester III

NUCLEAR WAR vs. THE WILDERNESS (17-27)
Music vs. Dreams (19-25)
Ninjas vs. Pornography (28-16)
Theatre vs. The Stars (20-24)
Number vs. Ascension unto Heaven (20-24)

Notables: Allyse 4-1; Steph 2-3; Dylan Ross 2-3; Rook 3-2; A-Hen 4-1; Dan Schwartz 2-3; Jeff McI 4-1; Kast 4-1; BJ 3-2; Brager 2-3; Eric the Prospie (R) 2-3; Toph Stuart 0-5; Erikk 0-5; Nick Steiner 0-5; Max Kronberg 2-3; C Moore 1-4; Kate 3-2; Schuyler 2-3; Sarah Navarre 4-1; Ashley Tyler (R) 4-1; Vec 1-4; Throop 1-4; Adam Samuels 4-1; Swifty 2-3; Angelica 3-1; Kevin 4-1; April 4-1; Bradis' 4-1; Romeo (R) 2-3; Margot 4-1; Jack-o 4-1; Edel 3-2; SoldierofGod 4-1; S4J 3-2; Stonetongue 4-1; Nicky G 0-5; Marc 4-1; ChopSushi 4-1. Congratulations to G-Hink, Dob, Ashley, and Jordan Gannon for their trip to 5-0.

The Dark Days; TNF XLI

2004-12-03T17:05:38Z

Another bleak war room, less interesting due to intense fatigue. Also, the internet was broken over here, so I apologize to the absentees who had to miss a week. Without ado, Title "Fite" in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XLI

TRANSPORTATION vs. MEDICINE (17-8)
Bears vs. Telegram (12-13)
Machines vs. Dreams (6-19)
Solitude vs. Society (12-13)

***In The Nelson Room, the 2-Hole and Sem "Fites" were locked at 12 come midnite. Because of the lack of Internet voting, we reluctantly did the "best-of-the-archons" method of tie-break. However, upon my return to the room, I found an e-mail sent from Jackson Ferrell at 10:50 PM with his votes; somehow he must have got wind of the lineup card. For his effort, and for legitimacy, his votes were added and the need for tie-break was absolved.

Notables: Rook Singer 1-3; BJ 1-3; Kayla 2-2; Nick Steiner 0-4; Febbie Laura 2-2; BQ 1-3; Vec 1-3; Carter 2-2; Toph 2-2; Hannah Stone 1-3; Sebastian 3-1; Erika 3-1; Mar Spanish 2-2; G-Hink 3-1; Kast 3-1; Erikk Geannikis 3-1; Romiti 2-2; Kate Sullivan 3-1; Jack-o Ferrell 3-1. Congratulations to Paul Markes (R), Schuyler, Brager, and Clarke Saylor for their trip to 4-0. Special Double Congrats to Max Kronberg and A-Hen for their second consecutive 4-0.

Issues: THIS TUESDAY 12/7: TNF Wk XLII: Best of Semester III Five "Fites," Familar Faces, Family Fun. DO NOT MISS IT.

Rikk

Ay, There's The Rub

2004-12-03T02:54:12Z


war is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

XLI results coming soon.

Denmark's a Prison; TNF XL

2004-11-18T03:46:56Z

We all had melancholy junior-year moods in the War Room tonite, and it did not look pretty. But alas, these turned out to be incredible Fites, and just when I was losing faith in the TNF dialectic. Xtra Large indeed they were, and without ado here they are, Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XL

ADDICTION vs. GUILT (26-24)
Jack Frost vs. Johnny Appleseed (29-21)
Promises vs. Secrets (33-17)
Betrayal vs. Prison (31-19)

Notables: Hannah Stone 3-1; BJ 0-4; Lizard Silverman 2-2; Eric Closs 3-1; Dob 3-1; Clax 3-1; Schwartz 2-2; C O'B 1-3; Nick Steiner 2-2; BQ 2-2; Wilf 1-3; Kayla 1-3; C Moore 1-3; Cammie D 2-2; Megh 2-2; Vec 2-2; Erikk3-1; Allyse 1-3; Steph the Roommate 3-1; Brager 3-1; Clarke 0-4; Toph 2-2; Schuyler 3-1; Bridget 3-1; Betsithaca 3-1; A Stone Tongue (R) 4-0; Ashley 3-1; E Smith 2-2; Jack-o 2-2; Bradis' 2-2; Rubin 3-1; Su the cousin 1-3; Nithaca 2-2; Calvithaca 2-2; Katithaca 3-1; Huguel Hugs 3-1; Fe Abril 2-2; Ellie SF 2-2; Nicky G 2-2; C. Sushi 2-2. Congratulations to A-Hen, G Hink, Max Kronberg, Alec Kast, Swifty, Sara (for Jesus) Hall (R), and Marc the Roommate for their trip to 4-0. Double Congrats to Christine Gregory for her second consecutive 4-0. 50 voters, 29 on-site. Weak.

Commentary: While I am not presently writing old-style commentary, I would like to point out how fruitful the discussion at TNF40 was. The discussion of the BJ Fite was wonderful and extensive, and all arguments had the characteristic mark of the painstaking and the important. We worked pretty much straight through from 9-12 on these extremely difficult Fites, and made more interFite connections than I remember, ever really.

Issues: FOOLS! If you are in the chat room, YOU STILL NEED TO IM ME YOUR VOTES! FOOLS ALL!

Rikk

Fruitin' Around; TNF XXXIX

2004-11-13T20:22:39Z

This is our last week of TNFing without the Roman Numeral L in it. Let's cherish this last L-free week. Without ado, here they are, title "Fite" in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXIX

COLOR vs. NUMBER (26-20)
Salt in the Wound vs. Tip of the Iceberg (23-24; tie-break)
Gallivant vs. Debauch (28-18)
Theatre vs. Ghosts (30-16)

Notables: Hannah Stone 3-1; BJ 1-3; Cammie D 1-3; Ali Schwab (R) 2-2; Will Knight (R) 3-1; G Hink 2-2; Dob 1-3; Clarke 3-1; Jeff McI 2-2; Kayla Gamin (R) 2-2; Erikk 2-2; Febbie Laura 2-2; Max Kronberg 2-2; Dyl 2-2; Eve Callahan 1-3; Kitch 2-2; Alec Kast 2-2; Schuyler 2-2; Margot Behrend 1-3; JP McI 3-1; Kate Sulivan 1-3; Vec 2-2; Tiny Steiny 3-1; Toph Stuart 2-2; Evan Smith 3-1; Nithica 2-2; Katithaca 3-1; Calvithaca 0-4; Marc the Roommate 3-1; Ashley 3-1; Missy Scannell 3-1; Bradis' 2-2; Kevin 2-2; C. Sushi 2-2; O'Keefe 2-2; Fe Abril 3-1; Throop!! 2-2; Letz 3-1; Nick Tocci 2-2; Nicky G 3-1. Congratulations to BQ, Christine Gregory, Bridget, Angelica, and Jack-o for their trip to 4-0! 46 voters, I'm flipping the fuck.

Yes, Toph, get the Hatchet; TNF XXXVIII

2004-10-27T14:57:32Z

In a sense, this is the week I've been waiting for since we started labelling these things with Roman Numerals. 38 is my lucky number, and this proved to be a very successful nite of Fiting, it seems both on-site and off (I read some of the chat transcript). The War Room Council included a misguided and hilarious story told by Max Kronberg in which we further discussed the possibility of the "Fite:" Lighting Max on Fire vs. Let's Fucking Do It. There was also a ridiculous comedy of errors involving the window blinds in The Nelson Room, where we almost lost Brian Jones to the depths of insanity. But, just like 38, we prevailed through difficult and trying times, just in time to take our first mid-semester break in TNF history (Read more in Issues). So without further ado, here's 38, Title "Fite" in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXVIII

SARCASM vs. SURPRISE (29-25)
Sound vs. Jewels (42-12)
Balls to the Wall vs. Flying Leap (27-28, tie-break)
Identity vs. Expression (32-22)

Commentary: Coming before 8PM today.

Notables: A-Han 3-1; Nick Steiner 1-3; BQ 2-2; Clarke Saylor 2-2; Gerard Toenjes 2-2; Allyse 3-1; Steph the Roommate 3-1; Megh 2-2; Erikk 2-2; Max Kronberg 2-2; Genna 2-2; Clax 2-2; Aaron Brager 3-1; Shellito 1-3; BJ 1-3; Toph 1-3; Schuyler 1-3; Laura Feb 2-2; Neal Feb 2-2; Vec 2-2; Wilf 3-1; Romiti 3-1; Kitch 2-2; C Moore 2-2; C O'B 3-1; Swifty 3-1; Rubin 3-1; Bridget 2-2; Lauren Kurinskas 2-2; Lily Scannell 1-3; Greggo 2-2; Jack-o 2-2; Nithaca 2-2; Katithaca 3-1; Kevin 3-1; Angelica 3-1; Lauren (R) 3-1; Will Hays 1-3; Nick T 1-3; Ashley 1-3; Adam Samuels 2-2; Abril 3-1; Bradis' 2-2; Robinson 3-1; SoldierofGod49 3-1. Congratulations to Hannah Stone, Lauren Robertson, Dan Schwartz, Kara, Josh Suich, Evan Smith, and Huguel Huggabees for their trip to 4-0. 54 voters, 32 on-site, I wish people would remember.

Issues: Coming before 8PM today.

Chilly

It's a potent sauce; TNF XXXVII

2004-10-20T15:25:28Z

On Take #37, the War Room continued our recent retro tendency to include easily laughable "Fites" with very penetrating conceptual significance. While the selection of these particular bouts may have also been shaped by Leibniz, I am glad to see TNF reminding me of the days of old; the days before the War Room Council. It was another rainy nite in Annapolis, and we always do poorly on rainy nites. But on this particular Tuesday, The Nelson Room maintained a passionate yet casual atmosphere, as TNF Chat was left to the absentees' sole discretion (Read more in Issues). But, without ado, here they are, Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXVII

FORESIGHT vs. SWIFTNESS (33-14)
Toys vs. Tornadoes (28-19)
Erikk Geannikis Covered In Buffalo Sauce vs. Jesus On a Truck (21-26)
The Stars vs. The Score (31-16)

Commentary: The Seminar "Fite" was actually one that we had come up with before Leibniz (we sought to match The Stars up for a while), but applies to Leibniz's theory that every created thing expresses in its own way the entirety of the universe. In my mind, the Score represents the order behind the ordered whole, the cosmos, or the Stars. I think that ancients used The Stars to represent The Score, but now we can distinguish between the order in the universe and the universe itself. Schwartz gave some prior argument about The Stars being man's natural light, which was countered by Toph: "You've got to know the score." The P.R. Vote mainly went to Stars. I only agreed to the Brian Jones "Fite" because I had just woken up before the War Room Council Meeting, and I think Jesus on a Truck is hysterical. We conjectured about what sort of powers a man entirely covered in Buffalo Sauce would have. It is an incredibly spicy sauce. My argument for EG in BS was that it is already predicated of Jesus that he can do anything; walk on water, feed the five thousand, so what's the big deal if he's on a Truck? As far as Erikk Geannikis, I thought it would be a wondrous phenomenon would he be covered in Buffalo Sauce, but some disagreed. From Naphy's response I was able to understand that Jesus on a Truck implied the very earthly presence of Jesus, which I can see being conceptually weighty. Rookie Evan Sgherzi's reasoning was priceless however: "If I saw Jesus on a truck, I'd be like, 'Oh Cool, it's religion on wheels.' But if I saw Erikk Geannikis covered in [Buffalo], I'd say, 'Whoa. Now there is a man who means business. Anyone who would willingly cover themselves in [Buffalo] Sauch is not to messed with.'" As far as the 2-Hole, we spent a lot of time deciding if an object need be designed specifically for idle pleasure in order for it to be a toy, or if a thing's toy-status depended on our use of it. We still never really came to a consensus, and the case is especially murky with educational toys, which aim to disguise the fact that they are actually serving a greater purpose. But for me, ultimately, tornadoes are just a specific, althought devastating phenomenon of Nature. Toys shape the development of childhood and have shaped them for who knows how long, and it won my vote and the masses'.

Ah, the Title. This "Fite" is a more marketable version of the original Celerity vs. Prescience (flipped, of course), which was so long impressed upon me by Monsieurs Steiner and Jones. We talked a bit about how neither concept infers that the action at hand is completed well, or completed at all. One can both be prescient and be swift and still fuck things up. There was a contingent of people who insisted on Swiftness' superiority since it involved the mind and the body. I thought that the power of foresight, indicating the presence of some kind of prophetic faculty. Even if the events you foresee do not come to pass, Spinoza would say that, if you're experiencing divine foresight, at the very least you have a superior imagninative capability, which, while excluding the body, seems to me like a more powerful thing to have than swiftness. Also, taking Swiftness as the essence of Jeremy R. Swift, we see that it, too, is easily defeated by a little foresight. Good "Fites."

Notables: A-Han 2-2; BJ 2-2; Caitlin O'Brien 2-2; Schwartz 3-1; The Fuzz 2-2; Kitch 3-1; G Hinkle 2-2; Gerard Toenjes 3-1; Chris Bea 1-3; BQ 0-4; Kast 2-2; Lauren Robertson 2-2; Sebastian 3-1; Erika Bush 0-4; Hannah Stone 2-2; Mira Johnson 1-3; Erikk 2-2; Allyse 2-2; Schuyler 1-3; Nick Steiner 1-3; Toph 3-1; Aaron Brager 3-1; Vec 2-2; Edel 2-2; EternalOverdrive 3-1; Robinson 2-2; Robert Montoya (R) 3-1; Letz 3-1; Betsy 1-3; Fe Abril 3-1; Ashley 3-1; Bridget 3-1; Naphy 3-1; Bradis' 3-1; Evan Sgherzi (R) 3-1; Connie Carbone (R); Nicky G 3-1; Marc 3-1; Hammer 3-1; Brianne Muscente 2-2. Congratulations to Margot Behrend, Christine Gregory, Derrick, Angelica, and Kevin for their trip to 4-0. Double Congrats goes to Jack-o for his second consecutive 4-0. 47; only 25 on-site. What a disappointment.

Issues: Okay, a bunch of things going on.

Firstly, TNF Chat debuted three weeks ago. The first session had limited success until the last forty-five minutes or so, the second session was pretty much jumpin' all nite long, which I loved. However, having a laptop running a chat room and a person or persons maintaining the chat room over here on-site has become a hassle, and prevents us from arguing with each other and removes all possibility of anyone getting any work done. So, while the screen name TuesdayNiteFites may appear to be a member of the chat, it will be running on my dorm room computer, the chat room will now be solely for absentee voters. This includes off-site Johnnies as well. The whole point of the chat room is to get you guys arguing for yourselves, so I assume that if you care enough about the TNF concepts to vote, and if you have the time (even 10-15 minutes might be enough to get some opinions!) I strongly urge all off-siters to spend some time in the chat room prior to voting. No need to apologize to me if you can't, and of course I don't want to monitor anything like this, but you owe it to yourselves.

Secondly, stickers are in the later stages of design. I believe we will be giving them out free based on strong arguments, and possibly to the 4-0 victors, maybe some to rookies. But, TNFers, let this initially be added insentive to clarify your votes with cogent accounts! More on this system as it arises, and when the stickers are off the presses.

Lastly, I am beginning to realize what a monstrous time commitment TNF is for me. There are four other archons, and two non-archons who help out just as much, but the fact that I am faced with the most responsibility is no one's fault but mine. The system was designed that way, and it was designed by me. The framework for TNF sprung from my fancy and desire to properly accomodate the Internet voters, and it was designed really without me knowing that I was designing a system at all until this thing got too big to be contained. I am letting you all know this because, while things probably won't change a lot for the absentee voter, The "Fites" as a whole may begin to scale back some. Commentary, for instance, may be the first thing to go. Because I am bogged down, I will not be posting commentary on Wks XXXV and XXXVI. This strain was also a factor in the SJC contingent's decision to leave the TNF Chat entirely to Internet devices. I'd love to be there, but it's too much. I know that you guys can step it up and make the chat room a proper philosophical forum.

And that's the story. Now that I'm up to date, and 9PM-12AM Tuesdays will be better delegated amongst the archons, hopefully commentary and results will be a Wednesday afternoon staple every week. I appreciate your cooperation and understanding during this difficult time. KEEP ON FITING! The voting numbers this week were atrocious. But, c'est la vie. Rein ? faire. Great Fites.

Chilly

It's Not Smileys You Losers; TNF XXXVI

2004-10-13T16:19:47Z

The 36th stab at this whole thing was a very enthusiastic nite of Fiting that had most engaged for the entire three hours, and consequently fucked in tersm of schoolwork. But, this is what the Fites are all about. I think that a very empassioned War Room Council debate just naturally slid its way into the Nelson Room, as it should. The War Room debate, which concerned the Seminar "Fite," touched on all concepts of TNF: its growing popularity and marketability, the very philosophical and historical aims of TNF as a whole, and the use of dictionaries as Fite-construct aids. Regardless, this blazin' hot Nite of Fiting was full of full of vigor, and yelling. Without ado, here we are, Title "Fite" in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXVI

MAPS vs. SIMILES (36-34)
Coffee vs. Cartoons (32-38)
Calypso vs. Penelope (25-45)
Parable vs. Doctrine (48-22)

Notables: The votes for Wk XXXVI were recorded by Mike Vecchiolla, at times yielding some unfamiliar handles, which I have placed in quotes. If you don't know me, always identify yourselves when you vote. Mike Sullivan 2-2; Hannah Stone 2-2; Lauren Robertson 3-1; Ben Crane 3-1; Neal 3-1; Kevin 2-2; Angelica 2-2; Huguels 2-2; Anna Rubin 3-1; Maribeth 1-3; Hinkle 3-1; Susan the Cousin 3-1; BJ 2-2; Schwartz 3-1; "Metallica" 2-2; Charlie Pashayan 3-1; Rook 3-1; Allyse 0-4; Steph the Roommate 2-2; BQ 2-2; Eric Torg 2-2; Brianne Muscente 2-2; Nick Steiner 1-3; Emma Plaut 3-1; Clax 2-2; DylRoss 1-3; Erikk 1-3; A-Han 3-1; Sweet Carry 1-3; JP McI 2-2; J Lowe 2-2; Kitch 1-3; Schuyler 3-1; Toby 3-1; Ashley 3-1; Fe Abril 3-1; Emily Gray 3-1; Vec 1-3; Caitlin O'B 2-2; Anna Johnson 3-1; John Peterson 1-3; Margot 0-4; Moyerman 2-2; Brad Jasper 0-4; Kate 1-3; Brager 3-1; Caitrin Hill 2-2; C Moore 3-1; Edel 0-4; Aidan 3-1; Evan Smith 1-3; Nicky G 2-2; Swifty 3-1; Nithaca 2-2; Wilf 3-1; Romiti 2-2; Christine Greg 2-2; Bridget 3-1. Congrats to Tommy Dyer (R), Chesty, Mira Johnson, Naphy Faris, "krsty," "kermicrazy," Jack-o, Will Hays, Adam Samuels, Matt McLean, and Missy Scannell on their trip to 4-0. Seventy, let's not drop.

Commentary: (See Wk XXXVII for explanation.)

Issues: Read about the continuation of the battle against Pointless Romanticism and the continued success of TNF Chat in Wk XXXVII.

Today's Political Climate; TNF XXXV

2004-10-13T16:06:29Z

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXV

WORTH vs. WITH (25-32)
Alarm vs. Syrup (33-24)
Responsibility vs. Rejection (35-22)
Liberty vs. Security (42-15)

Notables: Clare Freuschting 1-3; A-Han 2-2; J-Cop 2-2; Edel 3-1; Angelica 3-1; Kevin 2-2; Eve Callahan 1-3; DylRoss 3-1; Ben Crane 3-1; Cabell 3-1; Jack-o 3-1; Nicky G 3-1; Marc 3-1; Schwartz 2-2; BJ 2-2; Gerard Toenjes (R) 1-3; BQ 3-1; Nick Steiner 2-2; Max Kronberg 2-2; Megh Lockard 2-2; Rikky 2-2; Genna Hinkle 1-3; Jamie Weisinger 3-1; Schuyler 3-1; Kast 1-3; Cubb 3-1; Neal 1-3; Nicole Young 2-2; Allyse 2-2; Steph the Roomate (R) 2-2; Anna Johnson 3-1; Maribeth 2-2; Wilf 2-2; Romiti 3-1; Swifty 2-2; O'Keefe 3-1; Adam Samuels 2-2; Robinson (R) 2-2; Caitlin O'B (R) 3-1; Toby 3-1; Clax 0-4; Lasiloo 2-2; Margot 3-1; Cammie D 3-1; Vec 2-2; Aidan 2-2; Ashley 3-1; Missy Scannell 3-1; Lauren Kurinskas 2-2; Toph 3-1; Kate 3-1; Fe Abril 3-1; William E. Hays (R) 2-2. Congrats to Kitch, Mar Spanish, Emma Plaut and Brad Jasper on their trip to 4-0. 57, too small.

Commentary: (See Wk XXXVII for explanation.)

Issues: News about the debut of TNF chat in Wk XXXVII.

Nailing your Fifth Grade Teacher; TNF XXXIV

2004-09-29T15:12:05Z

On a rain-drenched evening in Annapolis, the Tuesday Nite "Fites" go on. Nick, BQ and I actually had to devise distinct routes to get from Paca to Campbell to Randall en route to the dining hall these evening for dinner; most routes involved 6+ inches of rainwater to tackle. But no matter. The film crew, along with the lazier TNFers, were confined to their silly indoor lives last nite, but not us. We were playing with Risk with the Forms. Without ado, here's mark 34, Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXIV

LUST vs. MUSIC (16-42)
Scars vs. Relief (35-23)
Prenuptial Agreement vs. Happy Hour (13-45)
Dominion vs. Serendipity (27-31)

Commentary: The seminar "Fite" featured Serendipity, a concept that has been floating about in the war room for some time now. We defined it pretty early on in the Nite, as the state of being under the force of benevolent fortune, though the benevolent part was called into question a few times. Inspired by Hobbes, I felt that the Dominion at its finest would provide a very thought-out and deep-set happiness for its residents. While this is a purely theoretical state, since a perfect and/or true Hobbesian dominion probably has never been founded, some still thought Serendipity was a more powerful kind of happiness. However, it should be noted, this "Fite was 23-8 in favor of Dominion before absentee totalling. Whatever that means. The BJ "Fite" featured Happy Hour, as suggested by Nick Steiner's older brother, and the rather shaky Prenuptial Agreement. There was a lot of talk about just what constituted a Prenup: it seems that it is any sort of agreement to provide the particular instructions in the form of any incapacitating contingency, whether it be divorce, illness, death, etc. Since it is mostly concerned with property, and the division of property upon cessation of the marriage, many voters justifiably came to the conclusion that it was rooted in mistrust, and voted toward Happy Hour. Surprisingly, in the 2-Hole, many people had "problems finding the relationship between Scars and Relief." What? First of all, no one ever said TNF bouts have to have some correlative relationship between the concepts, and second of all, even it they did, Scars and Relief seem pretty easy to draw a direct relationship between. Thirdly, it's not a fucking candy shoppe! Regardless, we talked a lot about what we do with scars. Sure, physical scars are cool, and fun to show off, but they also serve as constant reminders of pain. It is my understanding that some scars even still hurt at different points in one's life. The term "emotional scars" was brought up a lot, and I was trying to make the point that physical scars are an alternative of relief, while emotional scars we seek relief from. Relief seems inherently temporary to me, after I was simultaneously attacked by Brian Jones, Toph, and Nick with the aphorism "There is no relief." Naphy Faris: "No one wants remember when they're in pain." Right, so wouldn't that make scars the more powerful, but perhaps less prevalent, concept? J Lowe, genius: Milton, Paradise Lost, IX.25-30.

Ah, the Title. The War Room Council unanimously could not believe that both of these two gems had not fought before Wk XXXIV. My initial and most compelling argument was the music contains Luck within it. If we are to believe Zuckerkandl, the tones actually have desires, and in the appropriate context, a C# has a lust for the D. This was debated, and granted it's fucking weird and anthropomorphic to think about things like that, at the very least music encompasses the manipulation of feelings of lust and fulfillment, and that's why chords and tones "want" to "go" "places." I noticed that most people found Lust hard to talk about without the consideration of the fulfillment of said desire, but I still think that lust can exist without it. There was a complicated graph drawn by Josh Suich analyzing different gradations of Lust and Music on a scale called "Worth," which I didn't really understand or ultimately by as it seems that he was analyzing both on a scale with imposed morals, which clearly favor Music more than Lust in any situation. All sorts of religious and motivational figures place lust and desire at the root of all of our problems, this is big. But the fact that Music finds a way to incorporate this raw emotion and mathematical intracies and harmony seems to be an embodiment of a real cosmic system, swaying my vote, and ultimately the "Fite'"s outcome.

Notables: Hannah Stone 1-3; Sebas' 2-2; Lauren Robertson 0-4; Nick Steiner 3-1; BJ 2-2; Kate 1-3; Neal Sakash 2-2; Toph 3-1; Fuckman 3-1; Matt Mangold 2-2; Jeff Mc 1-3; Alec Kast 3-1; Cabell 3-1; Annie Shellito (R) 3-1; Erikk 3-1; Emily Niche (R) 3-1; Clarke 2-2; Vec 2-2; Schuyler 3-1; C Moore 2-2; Kitch 2-2; Cubbison 2-2; Clax 3-1; Mar Spanish 3-1; Josh Suich 3-1; Max Kronberg 2-2; Nicole Young 3-1; Brager 3-1; JP McI 3-1; Sarah Navarre 2-2; Erica Freeman 3-1; J Lowe 3-1; Jack-o 3-1; Maribeth Williams 2-2; Bradis' 3-1; Grodotz 1-3; pd Rydia (WHO ARE YOU??) 3-1; Naphy 3-1; BQ 3-1; Angelica 3-1; Brianne Muscente 3-1; Letz 3-1; Huguel Huggins 3-1; Nick Tocci (R) 3-1; Nicky G 2-2; Marc the Roommate 2-2; Christine Gregory 3-1; Lauren Kurinskas 1-3. Congratulations to Ashley, Kevin, Missy Scannell, Eleanor from Fe (R), Fe Abril, Annas Rubin and Johnson, and Bridget for their trip to 4-0. Double Congrats to A-Han and Genna Hinkle for their second consecutive 4-0. Fifty-eight, 31 on-site. Lowest yet this year in both respects. :-(

Issues: Some bad news, TNFers. There will be no TNF radio show any time soon. It appears that some streaming radio software maven and/or the FCC and/or the Government are involved in some massive mother-fucking lawsuit about the legitimacy of streaming internet radio broadcasts. Apparently, universities and porn sites are at the heart of this investigation. And, St. John's being a major porn site, the I/T office can't let me operate any sort of media stream on their network, and by no means can the DC give me money for such illicit activity. So, until this lawsuit is over with, which will be who knows the fuck when, I can't do it. However, TNF did get $150 to use for general publicity, and this may mean web site improvements, TNF Live Chat, T-shirts, stickers, better posters, and other things. Please, let me know some ideas! I want to spread the TNF lifestyle as far as I can.

That's my thang. You all should comment more. Aren't you pissed that your concept lost?! Argue about it, like the old days!

Rikk

Legal Tender For All Debts; TNF XXXIII

2004-09-22T14:59:56Z

The "Fites" are like meditation: in a sea of turmoil and confusion, just a simple introspective nite of TNF is enough to bring the soul back to a center. Last nite's bouts were like that, as I continued my tradition of bringing plentiful work to Barr-Buchanan and never even opening my bag to get books out. Looks like voting totals in the seventies are becoming a norm, which is fantastic, and the DC will soon review and approve the TNF budget. This, by my estimation, will allow for the radio show to commence in about four weeks' time. But, without ado, here are the thirty-third installment of these little gems, Title "Fite" in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXIII

WEATHER vs. MONEY (48-26)
Flight vs. Sanctuary (36-37)*
Puns vs. Guns (41-33)
War Against God vs. Holy War (41-33)

*At Midnite, we found the Big Board short one vote in the 2-Hole. A strange erasure led us to believe that the missing vote was for Flight. Because this was the only evidence we had of the placement of the phantom vote (and we do believe there was a vote; people here know that its 4 or nothing), when the absentee scores came in 36-37 in favor of Sanctuary, we had two options. Assume the vote for Flight, which would cause a tie-breaker, in which the 5 archons use their votes to determine the victor, which would have been Sanctuary. Rather than full-out assume a missing vote and have Sanctuary win, we left the score as is, less one than the three other "Fites."

Commentary: Lookey lookey, I got commentary. The Seminar Fite, inspired by Paradise Lost was another God-challenging doozy. [It also made us come to the striking realization that War and Hating God are unfortunate themes of these misery-struck Junior Year "Fites."] I postulated that perhaps Satan and his army were the only ones who ever have and ever would wage WAG, but this was soon called into question. Also questioned was the notion of a Holy War: is it a war ordained by God, fought because it is believed to be God's will, fought for loosely religious purposes, something else? This led to the following ridiculous analogy. Please feel free to skip this if you are just interested in bare-bones commentary. All dates, tenets, and names of God are estimated:

In the ripe year of 1800, a man named Erikk sees a burning bush, and hears a voice: "I am the one true God and my name is Georgia Pacific. You shall call me the unpronounceable fragment GP. I command you to love and glorify me, and you can do that by obeying my one tenet: Preserve the life of all trees on Earth." So a religion of Erikkists are born and make it their business to preserve and foster the growth of trees. At the same moment, across the river, a man named Brian sees a burning cow, and hears a voice: "I am the one true God and my name is Bl'gork. You shall call me Bl'gork, and say it often because it is funny-sounding. I command you to love and glorify me, and you can to that by obeying my one tenet: Cut down all trees on Earth." So a religion of Brianists are born and make it their business to cut down and destroy all trees. Needless to say, from 1800 until this very moment, the Erikkists and Brianists have been warring, each claiming that their directive is the order of the one and true God. Let this War be called the Exterior War.

In 1800, the best and most efficient method of cutting down trees available to the Brianists was by using hacksaws. The chainsaw, however, was invented in 1941, and made tree-cutting ten times more efficient. In 1941, however, a conflict erupt within Brianism. Some Brianists felt that they should switch their tree-raping method to strict chainsaw usage, since they could better serve Bl'gork. Other Brianists felt that, since Bl'gork gave his lone proclamation in 1800, before the advent of the chainsaw, he would never intend for his people to cut down trees any other way besides by hacksawing. Thus two sects of Brianism were born, the Jonesists who supported chainsaw use and the Quinnists who were against it. The Jonesists felt that they were the only ones obeying Bl'gork, and that the Quinnists were heretics. The Quinnists felt that the Jonesists were blatantly going against Bl'gork, and that they were the only true worshippers of Him. From 1941 until this very day, the Jonesists and Quinnists have been at war; and let us call this war the Interior War.

The questions from this long-ass mother-fucking analogy are: Is the Exterior War a Holy War, or War Against God? Is the Interior War a HW or WAG? Does the Interior War change genre depending on whether or not we look at it from a Jonesist or Quinnist perspective? If so, what's with that? No answers, folks, just questions.

Returning to our regularly scheduled commentary, we have to admit that the Brian Jones "Fite" was pencilled into the lineup card with partially ulterior motives, and those failed. We wanted to comabt the rampant pointless romanticism of Wk XXXII and force those usually candy-shopping to vote for an initially unappealing concept because of its obvious superiority, thereby coming to terms with their obvious personal flaw. I, of course, didn't help the cause when I gave an argument for Puns: Puns make language funny in and of itself. The humor in a pun (and by pun I mean any sort of play on words) is separate from the humor of a joke, where the incidents or subjects invoke the absurdity/etc that causes humor. This has been going on since Aristophanes and probably earlier, and it places immense artistic value on language as an art form. Humans, I think, would have found ways to improve the javelin, for instance, barring the invention of guns, but language is a big deal and it was made more beautiful by puns. David Letzler on the matter: "If anyone fires a nasty pun at me, I'd shoot him, and I'd win." The 2-Hole was interesting because of the correlation that many assumed between the two contenders. Is flight always directed at some sort of sanctuary? It seems so. Though Clarke proposed that Flight can be a lifestyle, and that people are never happy in one place, I was forced to justify this possibility as the equation of Flight with a kind of Sanctuary in itself. It certainly seems that all innovations in flight (both general and particular to aviation) have been made because people have more sanctuaries in their lives and hold onto them with greater reverence than before.

Ah, the Title. Have you ever looked at a dollar bill ("Have you ever looked at a twenty dollar bill... on weed?") and read this creepy fucking message about money? I quote your currency: "THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE." What could that mean? We talked a lot about this implication on money, and this led to the necessary discussion of what debt is, which was a question that never really got adequately answered. Weather was debated pretty intensely by those who weren't involved in the Erikkist and Brianist masturbatory analogy. But I'm not sure if they could come up with anything more than "atmospheric conditions and effects," with a necessary qualification that Weather comes from the top down. (If a volcano erupts or an earthquake happens, it's not bad weather.) In my mind, it's shit that happens in the sky. And yes, a rainstorm sucks, and certainly the recent hurricanes have put the power of Weather in perspective, but I still think that, with enough money, it can be controlled. This argument didn't exactly hold up, as I think Toph pointed out that it is not money that's going to harness weather, it's skill and science funded by money. Granted, Toph, but still, with enough money, I wouldn't have to dig my umbrella out of the closet to walk to the dining hall. I'd pay someone to do it for me.

Notables: C Moore 2-2; Cubbison 0-4; Erikk 2-2; Lauren Robertson 3-1; Erika Bush 3-1; Sebas' 2-2; Mira 2-2; Nick Steiner 1-3; H-Mag (R) 3-1; Ben Crane 3-1; Rook Singer 1-3; Vec 1-3; Erin 3-1; J Lowe 2-2; Meg Lockhard 3-1; Kitch 2-2; Max 2-2; Neal Sakash 3-1; Clarke S 1-3; Bartos 3-1; Lil Ferrell 3-1; Toph 0-4; Schuyler 2-2; Jim 1-3; Alec Kast 3-1; Dob 3-1; Smuggy Lanier 3-1; Sweet Carry 2-2; JP McI 2-2; Emma 2-2; Clax 1-3; BQ 2-2; Joey Cardella 3-1; Margot Behrend 2-2; Lee Lee Lee 2-2; BJ 2-2; Drew Steiner (R) 2-2; Adam Samuels 0-4; NickIth 3-1; Swifty 3-1; Evan Smith (R) 1-3; Angelica 2-2; Kevin 1-3; Cousin to Swift 2-2; Sullivan 3-1; Brad Jasper 1-3; Conky 0-4; Lauren Kurinskas 2-2; Bri the Roommate 3-1; Nicky G 3-1; Jack-o 3-1; Bridget 2-2; Christine Gregory 1-3; Grodotz 2-2; RHDemon69 2-2; eoferr 3-1; Ashley 2-2; Letz 2-2; Maribeth 2-2; Fe Abril 3-1; Toby Burress 2-2. Congratulations to Hannah Stone, Huguel Huggins, Genna Hinkle, A-Han, Naphy Faris, and Anna Johnson for their trip to 4-0. Seventy-four, 46 on-site.

Issues: Okay, okay, let's see. First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for having fallen ridiculously behind in commentary. As you can see, it's all better now, and hopefully Wk XXXIV's commentary will be up by Wednesday afternoon like old times. I don't even want to get into why it took me so long, but just know that I haven't been slacking off.

Secondly, I realized that I should go over the tie-break procedure. In the event of a tie after all on-site and absentee ballots are totalled, the first option is to employ the vote of an absentee who has voted after 12, but closest to it. If there is no such tardy absentee, then the archons and myself scroll through to unofficial list of TNF regulars (i.e. our cell phones) and call someone who was unfortunate enough to not be present, and we take their vote as the tie-break. If even that option fails, the last and final result is to take the majority vote out of the five archons' votes in the particular "Fite." This chain was employed in this week's 2-Hole.

That's all I can think of for now. In Wk XXXIV's commentary, I'll tell you how the DC voted on the TNF budget, the status of the upcoming radio show and chat room, and how the St. John's promotional film crew took to TNF. Until then, thanks for the patience, enjoy the commentary, and keep on voting.

Rikk

Repelling Pointless Romanticism; TNF XXXII

2004-09-20T06:50:49Z

Okay, okay, okay. It's not what it looks like.

I assume you all think that I'm completely lazy, or that I am not paying attention to TNF enough to write the commentary on time. The reality is very close to the polar opposite of this. It's been a very nonstop few weeks, and I scarcely have time to sit down for an hour at my computer, let alone call my family or maintain acceptable hygiene. I don't really wanna draw out a huge apology, but know that I do regret my tardiness. More will be discussed in the Issues section tomorrow. I can't even keep my eyes open right now and I have all (100%) of my Milton to read for tomorrow Nite. Please, try to understand, and bear with me during this difficult time. But, we have a great week of Fites to deal with, in fact it is a record setting week for on-site and total vote counts, and I expect the totals only to climb from here. So, without ado, here are Wk XXXII's results: Title in caps, winners in bold, scores in parenthesis.

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXII

FAME vs. THE WILDERNESS (22-54)
Ninjas vs. Pirates (35-41)
Statutory Rape vs. Bottled Water (39-38, tie-break)
Hating God vs. Hating Yourself (34-42)

Commentary: Commentary! The Seminar "Fite," inspired by Pascal, was a Brian Quinn original and turned out fabulously. Dylan Ross' argument had me swayed for a long time: Hating Yourself is more useful in order to better yourself. If you trip in the hallway and hate God for putting that ledge there, you are conceding that the universe is run by an evil genius who is out to get you, and you can't get anywhere from that. JP refuted this argument later in the nite, thought I can't recall the particulars of said argument. Hating Yourself has been an oft used vehicle for me, and sometimes it leads to change, more often just to guilt, but even so, I see it as a more proactive response to life's lemons than Hating God. The Brian Jones "Fite" was close all nite, thought the absentees are the ones responsible for almost bringing Bottled Water to its deserved victory. The conceptual power of bottled water is immense: ten years ago people couldn't believe that bottled water was even a thing, five years ago people couldn't believe that it costed a dollar. AND NOW LOOK AT IT! Brian Jones himself buys Dasani every fucking day, even though we've both agreed that it's horrible, and contains sodium making you more thirsty. People have raped the world's purity and are selling it and we're all suckers for it. The analogous intent of Statutory Rape laws seem founded in good utility, seeking to protect those who don't know enough or know better in consensual sex. But, the fact that two seventeen-year-olds losing their virginity to each other is a crime in some states shows that both SR and BW are useful ideas that have been bureaucracized beyond appropriate bounds. The 2-Hole was inspired by Jack-o Ferrell and a t-shirt that famed pirate Nick Steiner saw in a store somewheres. This one got pretty intense, and Schuyler "The Future" Sturm was even reported to have consulted a multi-volume encyclopedia of Japanese cultures to prove that ninjas are a made-up concept. We talked a lot about the necessary process one must undergo to become a ninja, and that their lives are governed by a strict code, but only after rigorous tests are passed. Pirates, for me, represent the everyman trying to make ends meet. They live by a code too, but, unlike ninjas, they decide on the appropriate governance of their tribe (e.g. mutinies). While their endeavor may be seen as immoral in some eyes, I say it's just more difficult to come to terms with.

Ah, the Title. What is The Wilderness precisely? In my mind, it's not just what's outside your window: the wilderness implies land untouched by man, ruled by animals, and probably with a lot of bugs. I could be wrong, but there's got to be a reason why Wilderness begins with Wild. It's a jungle out there. Now, Fame was just flat out sold short with this "Fite." Sure, it may be vain to desire Fame or to act with the sole directive of becoming famous, but how do we know anything about history, science, philosophy? Somehow, humans have preserved those who are worth preserving. And while that William Hung guy might be undeservedly famous now, we'll see who of our children's generation can put a face to his name. Fame, in a lot of ways, is natural selection of talent or ideas. So it seems, then, that the "Fite" simplifies to the process by which man reaches immortality, and that natural realm which man has never touched. For me, the superior was Fame. If someone followed this or a similar line of reason to vote for Wilderness, I think I would have understood. But soooo many candy-shoppers just slashed their tally for Wilderness so fast it made me wanna puke. (See more about Pointless Romanticism in the Issues section of the above entry.) But, great "Fites," and, as of Wk XXXIII, still the greatest amount of voters ever.

Notables: Hannah Stone 0-4; Sebastian 1-3; Kurloff (R) 1-3; Clare Freuschting 1-3; A-Han 3-1; Febbie Neal 2-2; Margot Behrend 2-2; Colten (R) 3-1; Megh Lockhard 3-1; Aschely Smith (R) 2-2; Jones 2-2; Liza (R) 3-1; Dob 2-2; Nick Steiner 2-2; Sweet Carry 3-1; Emma Plaut 3-1; Anna 3-1; Grodotz 2-2; Michelle (R) 3-1; Dylan Ross 3-1; Erikk 2-2; Clax 3-1; Mar Spanish 1-3; JP McI 1-3; John Peterson 3-1; J Lowe 2-2; Wilf 2-2; Kitch 2-2; Genna 2-2; Susan Holcomb (R) 1-3; Toph 1-3; Nicole Young 1-3; Ellen 3-1; Schuyler 1-3; R-H Sarah 1-3; Jacolyn (R) 1-3; Kast 2-2; Hugs 3-1; Rubin 2-2; Emily Grey 3-1; Sam Jones (R) 3-1; Shunj 0-4; Kate Sullivan 2-2; Vec 2-2; Chest 3-1; Swifty 1-3; Brad Jasper 1-3; Ashley 3-1; Letz 0-4; Jacko 3-1; Nicky G 1-3; His Roomate Marc 2-2; Angelica 2-2; Kevin 1-3; Fe Abril 3-1. Congratulations to BQ, C Moore, Alanna Whitney (R), Lee "Pure Yankee Stock" Branner, Erin, Throop, Jeff Mc (R), Clarke, Smug Lanier, Aaron Brager, and Missy Scannell for their trip to 4-0, and Special Congrats to co-archon Max Kronberg for his long-awaited cherry-popping trip to 4-0. 76, 63 on-site, both record-shattering.

Issues: (See 9/21.)

Rikk

I am the Pants Master; TNF XXXI

2004-09-08T20:23:17Z

The Tuesday Nite "Fites," Wk XXXI

DRUGS vs. ORGASM (16-45)
Nuclear War vs. Acension unto Heaven (21-40)
Pants vs. Dance (25-36)
The Will vs. The Intellect (45-16)

Commentary: Ah, commentary. Yes yes. Anyways, the Seminar bout this week was inspired by Descartes' Meditations, and I liked it because it had such very different implications based on what year in the program one is. But, as usual, my expectations were dashed when the majority of underclassman accompanied the elders in choosing the Will over Intellect. My vote for will was inspired by Descartes' conjecture that an "automaton" would still yearn to quench its thirst... to avoid dropsy, apparently. Pants vs. Dance was by far my most passionate "Fite" this year (remember, I'm writing this two weeks later), and maybe even ever. There was a lot of confusion about just what pants are: are shorts pants? Underpants? Skirts and dresses? Plentiful diagrams were drawn, by enthusaistic rookie Josh Suich and others, but it seemed even then that whatever sort of attire category was implied by the Pants concept, it would never be enough to topple Dance. BUT THEN! I consulted the dictionary, and made several discoveries. In fact, Pants encompasses any article of clothing that you can slip your legs into. That's one. Also, there can be such a thing as a "pant" that would sheath but one mere leg. The singularity of pant got me thinking... pants... heavy breaths! Of course! And because pants refers to the gasps of air necessary to dance, Pants locks up the Prior vote! Q.E.M.F.D.! There was much appalause and congratulations, but Dance prevailed. I do understand Josh's argument about the necessary seduction of Dance, but I still say that's all ceremony compared to the pithy reality of Pants. The 2-Hole was a leftover "Fite" from the Wk XXX, originally thought to be too crazy to work. A lot of the argument concerned what constituted "ascension." There are some rare instances in the Bible where individuals are singled out as having ascended up to heaven. Jesus, of course, exemplifies this sort of "plucking" from the Earth that I imagined Ascension to entail. I don't think that whenever a good Christian dies on Earth, he necessarily ascends to heaven, though he might end up there. With this interpretation, this exclusive A.u.H. was no match for the mutually assured destruction that the concept of Nuclear War entailed. But again, I was wrong.

Ah, the title. Whatever, whatever, orgasms are fantastic, but I think that Drugs was sold short here. The best voters were those who kept in mind that the Orgasm does not necessarily imply sex, intercourse, or procreation, any of the usual romantic things that would sway any sex-related "Fite." The orgasm is a biochemical response to some appropriately applied thrusting/rubbing. Not to mention a wet and smelly mess. And what, precisely, constitutes a drug? It seems as though people agreed that a drug is something external that is placed in our bodies and produces a desired (maybe not necessarily desired) chemical reaction, resulting in an altered state. But doesn't food and drink fit that definition? Surely a substance doesn't have to be illegal to be a drug, and surely one can overdose on food and drink. And, besides that, most people were very quick to assert that the chemicals found naturally in our brains are not drugs until they are taken from the outside and put in us. While this might be right, I still haven't come to my personal conclusion. With this all-encompassing view of drugs as necessary to the maintenance of the human machine, I felt that it toppled Orgasm, but again, I was wrong.

Notables: Sebastian 3-1; Erika Bush 3-1; Wilf 3-1; Romiti 1-3; Nick Steiner 2-2; Lee Branner 2-2; Jim Banaschewski (R) 3-1; Sam Moyerman 3-1; Matt Talamini (R) 2-2; Clax 3-1; Erin Owens (R) 2-2; Eric Lasaloo (R) 1-3; Vec 0-4; Erikk 1-3; Max Kronberg 3-1; Megh Lockhard 2-2; Toph Stuart 1-3; C Moore 2-2; Emma Plaut 2-2; Toby Burress 3-1; Kate Sullivan 2-2; Grodotz 3-1; BQ 1-3; Justin Lanier 3-1; John Peterson (R) 3-1; Sweet Carry 3-1; Mar Spanish 2-2; Aaron Brager 3-1; Munters 3-1; Alec Kast 3-1; Schuyler 3-1; JP McIntyre 1-3; Meghan Atherton (R) 3-1; Emily Grey 2-2; Kitch 2-2; Ashley 3-1; Clarke Saylor 3-1; Anna 3-1; Jacko 3-1; Missy Scannell 3-1; Fair Abril 3-1; Chopstick Sushi 3-1; Kevin 3-1; Angelica 3-1; Nicky Gandiello 2-2; ss apple pies 3-1. Congratulations to Hannah Stone, Febbie Neal, Chris Bartos (R), Margot, Genna Hinkle, Josh Suich (R), Nicole Young (R), Brad Jasper, Kara Johnson and Jamie Weisinger on their trip to 4-0. Double Congrats to A-Han and Mary for their second consecutive 4-0. Sixty-one voters; 47 on-site (record-tying).

Issues: See 9/21.

Rikk